Bangsat Millionaire

By the recommendation of many of my friends, I've watched Slumdog Millionaire and it's by for the best Indian show ever. I'm saying this 'cause it's the only Indian show that ain't a goddamn musical! Seriously, the musicals are getting lame! Think about it people! I don't care what language it's in they all suck! High School Musical is by far the worst! With that, I want to leave you all with a message I have tried to deliver many times; any singers that come out of the crack of Disney pretty much sucks!

We've Screwed Them Hard Enough!

    After many 'tak puas' faces shown by my class, the bastard Chong has finally sent Sugan back to our class. But he 'still sent out Thinesh and Saatish. I'm not as close with them as with Sugan but they will be missed all the same (God! I just realised I made it sound like they died).

  

    On to other topics, the results from my first test is out and I gotta say, I ain't that bummed out by the results. Wanna know why? I'm gonna tell you anyway. I got 1st in my class! Yipee (but 'still no new handphone)! Even though I ain't getting any fun stuff such as handphones, new tv's, or a computer, I'm 'still glad 'cause it's kinda like a personal achievement (and I get to rub it in Nelson's nose at any given moment... muahahaha). I gotta go. Will try to write soon.

F*ck The Teacher, Don't Change The Class!

My f-ing class teacher has done it again. She's sending four Indian boys out of our class. Yesterday, she sent one of my very close friends out, Sugan! She is a damn beyotch!

And guess what class she sent him to......FRICKING EPSILON! If you're not studying at my school you wouldn't know that Epsilon is full of mats (no joke. He's the only non-mat in the whole class) and their kinda dumb. And it's not like anybody hated him, he was like the only guy in class who was not hated by anyone.

Hendrick (who's gonna be sent out also) thinks we should write a letter to Mr Chong ( the douche bag responsible for all this crap) to give them a second chance but the chances of that bitch growing a heart are slim. That's all I have to say right now. We'll be doing all we can for you, buddy!

Buggy

15^th February, 2009

I finally decided that I was the last person on earth to watch ‘Juno’ and ‘Forest Gump’. So, I got off my ass and went out and bought ‘Juno’ and borrowed  ‘Forest Gump ‘ from my uncle.

I thought that both shows were awesome especially ‘Forest Gump’. It has like every single emotion you wanna get out of a movie. It’s sad, funny and all that crap. I still keep laughing when I think of how the dude was named after a damn Ku-Klux Clan leader (HAHAHAHA funny shit).

‘Juno’ was awesome too. I liked the way Ellen Page acted the role and stuff like that. And the songs in that movie were really funny too. That’s all I gotta write about today.

p.s.- I realize that I am the last person on earth to watch these movies so cut me some slack.

The Catcher in the (this is a word I really can’t pronounce) Rye

After recommendations from two of my aunts, I finally bought The Catcher In The Rye. I have to admit, it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read.

It really tells things from a young, horny, teenage boy’s view and there’s a lot of stuff in book that I can relate to. Even though it’s fiction, it’s a very realistic book based on what boys would feel, think and do in Holden Caulfield’s shoes.

It’s way unlike Harry Potter where J.K Rowling portrayed Harry as this innocent boy and yada yada ya. J.K Rowling writes that he fancies a few girls for their beauty and (I repeat) yada yada ya. But if Harry was a normal boy and behaved like how 99% of the boys in the world behaved, he’d be straight down perverted and would have to change his name to Horny Potter. So, if Harry existed and he behaved like how he behaves like in the book, he’d be a fag. Same goes for Frodo and Gandalf (who I think is a damn molester). I also think the two dudes from ABBA are fags too (Have you seen ABBA music videos? Super GAY!). All the dudes from High School Musical are gay to and so is Robbert Pattison! (I do realize that I am going overboard with this but I get some sick pleasure from calling people gay).

That’s all I gotta say about gays and fags for today.

p.s. Thanks a million EE Linin and EE Nita for recommending the book. I’ve really enjoyed it.

Latest Updates

11^th February, 2009

Stuff that happened to me this past few weeks;

1.          I quit the Scrabble club on the fact that I don’t need to stay in it.

2.       I quit band ’cause it sucks big time .Ig’s still in and is playing the flute (pussy instrument) and a buch of other dudes joined too (may God have mercy on ther dumb souls).

3.       I got assigned to play the damn xylophone in our next music performance because it was the only instrument that I didn’t  fully hate.

4.       I’m  nearly done with my music folio  which is due in  April.

5.       I gotta but load of homework it ain’t even funny.

6.       I’m still single : (

CNY *sob* *sob* *sob*

11^th February, 2009

I don’t actually want to write this but, in a weird way, I want to. I’m gonna say this once; I didn’t enjoy CNY this year. I’m not sure why exactly but I don’t feel the same this year and therefore CNY wasn’t that great. There was food, there were drinks and so much more. As for the money……the crisis goes on…….the curse that goes on year after year occurs again……..MY MAMMA TOOK MY MONEY AGAIN! I would like to say that technically, my mother robbed me.

That’s all I wanna say really.

p.s. I got robbed! ROBBED! ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!

As Cobwebs Form

11^th February, 2009

I know I haven’t written in a while and if you enjoy reading blog I’m sorry for not entertaining you guys (thats a very small if ). It’s just that my internet connection sucks big time.

Thanks to goddamn Celcom, it takes me nearly twenty minutes to get online. It’s been goddamn ages since I watched anime.

So that’s all for now.

p.s. Screw you, Celcom! You lazy sunzofbitches!(I do know that I am getting fairly touchy about this, but seriosly)

Music Class is so Overrated

11^th January, 2009

When I entered high school, I had a choice of 4 classes to enter. The first was chinese class. The only chinese word I know is chi bai and I don’t even think I spelled that correctly. And then there was japanese class which I really wasn’t interested in. The school also offered arts but I just suck at it. So, the only other  thing I could join was music class.

At the time, I really didn’t know what I was getting into. I thought that in music class I would learn cool stuff like the drums of the electric guitar of stuff like that. But instead of that, I gotta play damn gamelan. Its traditional music and at first I was happy with it. How wrong was I.

Believe me, if you played the same golden boobed shaped instrument every week for three years,you would get bored as well. As a bonus, you would get sick of seeing big boobed women! Its like when the doctor that gives birth to babies starts getting sick of vaginas (still don’t know what that’s called). So, now I’m into ‘flatties’ (if that’s a word) now.

And this year ain’t any better. Why you might ask. Firstly, I have to accept Joshua and Wan as captains this year and I’m certain that they’re gonna pick a gay song like ‘Beauty & the Beast’ or something like that. Secondly, I have to do a damn folio this year which is a real waste of time. And lastly, still no goddamn electric guitar!

But 3 Gamma ain’t that bad. We get to go to MPO every year at a discount price and we get extra co-curriculum marks. But every single time we perform, we still gotta take our own instruments while we perform for someone else and we don’t even get paid (some say it is our duty to the school, I say show me the money, jackass)! We are like The Rolling Stones, goddamn it! I perform, you take my instrument, you give me money! And most performers travel in a bus while we travel in a smelly, old, shitty van! I should sue my school.

And another bad thing about my school is that its all boys! So I might still be a virgin ’till I go to collage. Life sure is crappy here at Melaka High School. P.s. Some of my classmates are assholes too = (

Awesomely Crappy Day

10^th January, 2009

What is the sound that I wake to every weekend, some may ask. It ain’t my alarm, it ain’t dogs  barking and it ain’t even the loud morning prayer. Its my mom asking me to clean my dog’s piss.

Today wasn’t any different. After that, I got ready to go to Yew’s house for his birthday party. Well, it wasn’t much of a party. It was just Yew, Ignatius and I playing Naruto, Bleach(it’s actually an anime. I too thought he wanted me to play with actual bleach) and Kingdom Hearts on his PS2 which turned out to be  really fun. I know some of you might wanna tell me, “Get a life, asshole!” you assholes. But before you think I don’t have a life, there are a lot more people out there who are way more pathetic than me. I just found out there are actually people that go on the internet at 1 a.m.! So, if you’re on the computer at 1 a.m. and not doing work, get some sleep people! You can still go on the net at 10 o’clock.

So after I had to take public transport back home, I wanted to watch South Park and what do I see in the DVD player? The Rocker! I wanted to watch that show for such a long time and my mom must have got it. Oh wait, there’s more. When I play it, the damn DVD player is unable to read the damn disc!

Soul broken, I go and start writing on this damn blog and started downloading rock music from the 70’s (Queen and Led Zeppelin kicks ass) >.

 

Form 3 WTF

6^th January, 2009

School’s started and it ain’t that bad. Me and the dudes,had a lot to talk about after six weeks. We talked about what we did during the holidays, food, girls (it turns out girls from St. David are gold diggers! Beware all of my fellow dudes reading this blog) and PMR.

So after chatting, had to go to class and it’s on the 4th floor WTF man! Well I guess it is a good workout and plus  it has  an amazing view  (saw a dude taking a pee from up there. ewwwwwwwwwww).

A few of my old teachers ain’t teaching me anymore (Mr Peter Suan won’t be teaching us geography anymore. Crap) but on the plus side, Mrs Ng Hwee Lan’s teaching us history again (^.^). The evil bitch of the west is still teaching us english though. God damn it!!!!!!!!!!

Went to recess at 10:20 and as usual, the food still taste like cat’s ass.

Note to my principal ; SELL SOME CHINESE FOOD FOR ONCE. THE MALAY FOOD IS GETTING OLD, MAN!

Then Hendrick treated my and Ig to some Yong Tau Foo. But it was kinda crappy, truth be told. > .

Welcome 2009, R.I.P 2008

30^th December, 2008

2008 was an OK year for me. Nothing fantastic happened and not much terrible things happened. But as it is the last day of the year, I think I should make room for change. So the things I wanna change about me in 2009 are;

1.       swear less (no promises)

2.       get better at relationships

3.       do not collect ‘ang pow’(I know i’m not sure how to spell it) ’cause I don’t even get to keep the $$$

4.       spend more time with family and friends

5.       meet nice girl and try not to screw thing up

A Welcoming Storm

14^th December, 2008

I like the atmosphere right before a storm. The strong wind is just so comforting. The darkness  of the shade from the clouds that engulfs the the ever annoying bright sunlight gives me peace. And the storm itself is like the beauty of the most rarest art.

The never ending rain which gives such a wonderful smell and the roar of lighting and thunder gives a shock to my boring life. The lights that they give out is nothing like the annoying rays of sunlight.

It is not blinding.

It is not eternal.

It is shocking.

It is always giving us a brief moment of its beauty before hiding for such a long period that we often imagine if it such a beauty was truly there.

Boozed Up wedding ; )

9^th December, 2008

My aunt’s wedding was last weekend and I’ve gotta say it ; I had fun! The morning of the wedding was very emotional for all those old ladies(including my mom. What shame!). I had to do some stuff for the groom and got paid RM40! And all I had to do was reserve two tables and sit down!

But the climax of the wedding (God, that sounded messed up)was the wedding diner. Me and a few of my uncles had to look after the booze and it was like giving a kid a gun. My uncle is a gin drinker and I got to choke down to a dry martini, plain martini and a glass of beer(it ain’t that much, ok!).Now, the part you’ve been waiting for, the drunk status of everybody! Well, I got a little tipsy, my gin-drinking uncle got drunk of course, my granduncle got drunk on brandy and my other uncle got tipsy on martini and gin.

After the diner, the my uncle(the drunk one) drove me home. I personally think drunk drivers are not dangerous, but I think they are funny shit. My uncle was so stoned, he was shouting at a traffic light ’cause it didn’t go green in a minute.

I just realized that if I’m talking about booze, I got a lot to say ;  )

Duh…..

2^nd December, 2008

I’m sure most of us have said this a lot “Um….” or “Duh…” and people will always say that we’re acting all stupid like. But the more I think about it, I think more when I say those words than any other time.

But being the dumb shit that I am, I constantly mess up and say something stupid.

On to more ‘less dumb’ matters. My aunt’s wedding is finally near! My whole family is making loads of hooplah about it (created a new word there) mostly my mom. I love my aunt but it’s just some of the stuff my mom is asking me to do is kinda nuts. Like having to wear red on the morning of the wedding. WTF man! I don’t usually like to wear colorful cloths and usually stick with black. And now, my whole family is gonna have to wear red too. My uncle was, like me, pissed about the matter. It’s so stereotypical for chinese people to always wear red. My mom says it’s for good luck. I’m a white kid with chinese eyes! Lucky, my balls!

So, when/if I get married, everyone will wear black and there will be nothing but booze at the wedding dinner. And I will burn weed at the dinner too. And there will be pizza! Okay, getting a little bit carried away.

Oh my god, I have a very strong urge to do something illegal right now. Like robbing Pizza Hut while I’m drunk and high. Wait a sec, who the hell robs Pizza Hut! So, I’d have to be really drunk and high better get started ; )

A Period Of Emptiness

2^nd December, 2008

My life has come to a halt all of a sudden. I’m thinking ; what the hell am I going to do in the future. I mean I just got like two more years ’till I finish high school and I do not know what I’m going to do with my life!

I have no current goals and am not looking towards anything. I have nothing that makes my happy and i often ask myself what is life for (God, that sounded kinda emo-ish).

I mean what am I going to do for work. I ain’t smart, I don’t have any extraordinary skills and I have a shitty attitude. And I only go two years before I gotta choose my line of work.

I don’t want to work outside. I’m to dumb to be a doctor and I don’t wanna do anything that has to do with law ( if you knew me, you would know why). I don’t want to sell stuff ’cause I’ll look like more of an ass than I already am.

I’m in the shit : (

New Bike

25^th November, 2008

I know this will sound a little bit twelve-year-oldish but; I got a new bike! I’m so glad ’cause my last bike had it’s tires slashed and I can now get the hell out of the house!

But other than that, I’m keeping my hopes up so that my dad will get me a laptop. I like my current computer but it’s just that it…um..um…what’s that word….oh ya! It sucks!

The memory of this computer is absolutely unbelievable. The speed sucks too! I mean if I’m playing a 2D facebook game, it lags! And I don’t even have that much programs and games in it.

Let me tell you all the story of how I came to obtain this lump of useless $h*t. When I was in primary 6, I had a big exam with 5 subjects. I called my dad one day and asked him if I scored 5 A’s in that exam, would he buy me a laptop. He said yes. But when the marks came out, it was a different story. I did get 5 A’s for the test. I think my dad didn’t think I could achieve it so, he didn’t  get me that said laptop. I still have flashbacks of that day (I know. How pathetic could i get). So, if the gods are kind, I will get that laptop! Muahahahahahahahahaha!

Hobbies

24^th November, 2008

During this god-forsaken holiday, I have to struggle to not die of boredom. There are tree things which are keeping my alive this month; sleep, the internet and  anime!

My life has gotten so boring it’s as if I’m not alive. Sleep is awesome! The best thing about sleep is that I can dream up all kinds of shit. I once dreamed that I was swimming in my own piss and it didn’t even feel creepy (but thank god that it didn’t really happen)!

Bill Gates is a god for creating the internet. I mean I can find load of stuff here. There’s even a website on how to make light sabers (I’m a geek.Sue me!). And Youtube is funny crap. But mostly, I can watch anime with the internet! I mean it is so bloody awesome! I can watch ‘Naruto’ every goddamn week thanks to the internet (my astro got cut = [ ). So, thank you Bill Gates, sleep and booze!

Load of Crap

23^rd November, 2008

When I was twelve, I always thought that high school was gonna rock. If only I knew how wrong I was. After finishing my second year at high school, I have came to the conclusion that high school sucks! There’s so much boring crap to do. At one period, my whole class had to do five folios in a month (and I don’t have a printer). The subjects are boring as hell.

I hate high school and that’s a  fact. Loads  of my seniors  told me that high school is cool while I was twelve. Now, I have a complain, you guys screwed my over! I regret picking an all boys school ’cause I most probably wont get laid ’till I’m 18!

I have only one hope now, collage. It better not suck as  much  as  high  school!

Me & My Family

November 23, 2008

My life is pretty dull since the start of the school holidays. I have totally nothing to do. My job sucks ass ’cause I have to teach at my mom’s kindergarten and I hate little kids( I don’t know why, they just get me pissed). Plus, it only pays RM 10 per day. See, it does sucks ass.

But to be true, the most boring thing about this holiday is that I’m not with my friends. I have to admit it, I have a really good time with my friends. I mean we can get high without weed ( we just laugh and laugh and laugh at stupid  stuff)! My best friend ,Ignatius, is at some camp doing god knows what with god knows who (hehehe) and Nelson’s sharing the same fate as me ( working for his mom for the exact same pay as me but with longer hours. Muahahahaha).

I live with my mom and my sis (my parents are divorce). Even though my mom’s cooking kicks ass, she’s kinda mean. She’s been saying that I don’t take care of my hygiene and I am lazy as a sloth with cancer. If I did not find the way to overcome my mom’s nagging, I would have long ago committed suicide (no joke). The secret is to be brain dead as soon as the nagging starts. That way, I get to survive and keep my sanity.

My sis is actually nice to me a lot of times. But do not be fooled! She has gotten me in so much trouble, I actually think Al-Qaeda sent her to terrorize me to death. She can fake cry for the love of god! And it is damn solid. If i piss her off for drinking her grape juice, she’ll start doing the fake crying shit and lie to my mom that I whacked her with a stick! But deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep down inside,  I love my family.